New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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