is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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