so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
