Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
