Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
