Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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