I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
