is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
