You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
