I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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