I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
