omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
