First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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