It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
