You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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