What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
