Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
