my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
