Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize