PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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