Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
