My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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