How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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