I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
