sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
