it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
