I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
