Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
