I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
