# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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