How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
