You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
