he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
