mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
