I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize