do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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