its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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