I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just google imaged poop.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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