You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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