Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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