He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize