WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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