It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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