I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize