So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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