he wants to bone in the snuggie
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
