If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
