i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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