I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
