the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
