i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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