Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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