Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
