You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
