With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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