question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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