i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
